Self Centric

Nowadays, the condition where my personality is like divided into two versions which have quite far to be united. Inability to control one of those, it is hard to reach, it is hard to catch. People don't know why I am quick enough to show my expressions differently at the same moment. In the second version of I am, self centric-ness dominates in partaking the big portion of personality authorization that finally can destruct everything, may be.

I have never disregarded the "actually happens" in my body right now. One body contained of more than one version is acceptable for people who opens their mind widely as I am. But when consciously wake up with very tight eyes open, the alert danger constantly reminds me to stop the anger now. Self centric brings me hard to follow people suggestions, it is like i have my own light in my own intuition to be followed. Walking in the dark room with very little light signs which can be followed still be my first guidance to throughout the dark room. Analogy over there shows me how big my intuition actively acted to through my life. It is like nobody can control me, there is nobody could able to make my thought will be turned over, to be handed over. The most dangerous moment someday that i had feared off, my circumstance experienced some moments that similar with what i am facing now. They try to encourage me into better action that they had experienced before, they want me to get better. My ideology still upstanding to build castle to make sure there is no one can interfere. Interference is like breaking originality to create new product with additional  ingredients from others recipe in our food. Everyone has their own recipes in building creativity in their food. There will never appropriate when recipes are collected and create new variety of foods, fifty to fifty random chances to get better food. But I don't want accept consequences among un-mature plan to conduct. The highness of honor will decrease by unoriginality of something. All i need is proportional and original, as people mostly want. I have not found the truth of self-centric's stance, it stand in the right side or it stand on the wrong side. In fact that my self-centric has already succeed to bring my spirit in order to build bigger fire in ceasing my biggest ambition.
I need clarifications regarding self centric, self centric is not that people don't care about something and neglecting others, but self centric tells us about how people appreciate and have their own thought to be followed.