Noted to My Self about Leadership Competence

In the last sequence years, I put myself on "push to limit container".


I sometimes get hard to know why I failed to direct my self into schedule which previously I rendered in the evening before I get to bed. My ambition is loss. I am a morning person, but my productivity is decreasing. By the day I could actually do many self improvements, or at least pursuing target. Oh God, please my dream was so high. Doing nothing by scrolling up and down gadget, seeing another succeed. Even I frustrated with questions "Why the hell my hand is coming up by yielding nothing in hand". I somehow, daydreaming yes of course that in near future I lead Company. Everyone's dream right, yet I stuck in progressing to make my self better. Or at least following my bad schedule that I always break my promises to go. Will I?

I need to discover again, where my ambition is, where my curiosity is. I could not handle my self to at least lead my hand, brain, mouth, and pace. I slow it down my pace, looking my self as a pathetic yet lame person who was flood in a dirty river, and flowed. Swimming against the stream, and keep flowed. Walking in a same position, all I need is support and positivity. I waited positivity fulfill my spirit to come up into surface of my soul.

Talking about Leadership competence, somehow I could not interpret it on one fit figure or ideal persona. But I have met many leaders that bring positivity to uphold and bring up a confidence to every soul. Its positivity boosts to everyone's limit on their job. I do not blame to ones, but this is noted to my self which persona I should follow or at least I adopt, If someday I was chosen the one who impact other's self advancement. I do not know why, positivity does really matter to productivity.

Many of people who give birth leadership, they are calming down the temper his surround. Since, I do really learn about that characteristic who is I really enjoy with, who is I can really lean back at, or at least who is I can follow its little behavior. This is shame to admit, that back then when I was in school I impersonate all actions of my "Top Student" in my class. I was following how they act when doing homework, I imitate their handwriting style (since I have a talent to imitate their font style, this is an authentic talent that brings my self to label it as "recognized as talented" since I have no talent in others stuff).

Credit: Rawpixel/Shutterstock
 credit: Rawpixel/Shutterstock

For the next 5 years, when I read back this messy yet diary style of writings, I hope I adopt these my persona goals:
1. Equalize voice tone.
I do not why this is very strange component on leadership capacity, I paid attention to ones who bring conversation on his voice tone. People around, who has an exploded emotions suddenly shut their voice down and follow this tone. I rarely have seen this talent or born-gifted capacity to make every one less their temper and follow all instruction from his mouth. All people who hear his words will be calmed and feel restful.

2. Positivity
It reflected on its daily behavior by sending a smile and nothing fear in future. This capability will directly level up confidence level of his surrounds, by sending a fact table of optimism, and art of showing a good ambiance, this is I have fallen in love with person's character. Scared is faded out, the road is clear to make forward to undergo straight road without clue-less obstacle. Providing a reasonable fact to not give up in the middle of journey, making sure a good point and setting positive mindset that everything is achievable with a good measure tools.

3. Calming down.
As I have explored an interacted with leaders, I found a confident to not worry. I sometimes prejudged people on how they reflected into trouble, big or little one. The expression tells his maturity, wisdom, patient and strength. I believe a little bad mood affect others badness. I committed to learn more about this things, a set of problem has a set of its solution. With a good composure, affecting others to think extraordinary to pick up a solution. If leader has this capability, I am as follower will be really enjoy and not afraid because My Bos does not fear at all, then I have no reason to fall into fearful situation.

I comprehend my self as not good self scheduler, but hope those persona goals that I should advance in order to make my self and other can stay with me with a good impression.

Working is not only About Following Passion

In the first day I work for Samsung Research and Development Institute Indonesia, I frightened. I come to office 1 hour earlier based on appointment. My heart starts heavy beating, I walked around hundreds people crossing Sudirman Street.

What I have in mind is something clumsy, "is this real that I would become Software Engineer?".

Weeks ago I signed contract as "Global Software Engineer", as I have passed in the first term of Algorithm Test by Samsung R&D with HQ Standard. I am lucky enough to pass this one, since everyone needs to conduct Algorithm test more than one, then mostly they are rejected, and some people are accepted. "Global Software Engineer" is a program for universal engineer, lot of programming languages will be taught in this program. For "Real Passionate Engineer", this is the best place to leverage universal programming skills. You will be provided an eminent and costly course with cost covered by Samsung. We were also freed to access Leadership course by Harvard, for instance. Capacity to lead and technical will run into a straight path.

I am majoring in Information Systems, mixed between Computer Science and Management. Becoming Software Engineer is common options for us, but for me personally, I have another outstanding potential talent on another side, so in the first time I decided to choose Non Computer Science Job. I concerned a lot with first job I take, it would be my long life career in the future. I limit myself about Computer Science, I assumed that Software Engineer has narrow career development. I am afraid of my future actually. I hate doing same thing everyday by coding many programming languages, I hate to talk to my computer. As I have spent more than 10 hours to surf and networked on internet connection.

Before I joined, I was given a set of Algorithm Books by Mr Risman (Director of Software R&D), I flipped page by page till I got a nausea effect. I counted it more than 3.000 pages. I am shocked, if it were a set of Motivational Novel or Science Fiction film, I would be really enjoyed on it. Or at least a set of book titled "How to build small creative business for a long term plan for newbies?".

But, big name of Samsung guides me to swallow Algorithm Books, it might be my every day meal in the next couple years.

In the midnight, I sit in the front of balcony, I was starting mini discussion with my own self. Asking frequently same questions, in my humble opinion, I have another passion than dealing with code every day.

D-Day is coming. I entered Samsung R&D Office, I was introduced by HR Officer to anyone. I was a bit nervous to start my life for next couple year of career. We are 5 fresh graduate, are involved a mini discussion by our Laboratory Leader. We were all asked about our passion, I answered to have a passion in Backend (Java, C++ and SQL) and Frontend (CSS3). And I mentioned that I like to speak, to read and to present in front of public. First, I was incorporated on Java project. I am so happy and nervous at the same time.

In the next couple hours, I was offered as Technical Evangelist. Actually, I do not familiar with this position, they said that it would be matched for Engineer who love to write and speak. I took this opportunity. In prior moment, I daydreamed that my job is going to close with Technical Writer.

Surprisingly, I got a beyond expectation position that actually very matched with my personalities. I engaged students, developers from around Indonesia cities. Planning Hackaton and performing technical skill on stage, meeting new people, having a good relations with C-Level, and conducting video conference call meeting every Friday. Making sure that program from Headquarter is delivered in a best time, moment, and going well. Writing books and articles, posted it into technological platform.

Assumption is Killing
There are many opportunities outside there, I realized companies offered employee a good and fit position, the reason is Enormous company (such as Samsung) will place one to the fittest position, to get optimum performance. They will plot you to boost company's revenue, even a little thing is an asset. Lesson learned to ring bad assumption is settling you down.

Do not Limit Yourself
When you are offered any "other and never heard position", it is your time to challenge your self. I read books with another reverse stand point, by raising view from "Do not follow your passion" rules. It guides you to be more master on other field you never touch. Fear of getting failed will get higher, the point you will prepare tighter is acceptable reason to have you stronger and more hardworking. Passion placed you into a place you (sometimes) get destructed, but believe me, you will do anything to confront those challenges. The beat you will sense, headache you have never felt, shaking body you never imagine, push you to think outside your brain.

Enjoy Everything What you Retrieve
Miracle comes from everything. If you have pushed you hard, universe supports you immediately. No worry of having difficult to face tomorrow's job problem. You are guided. By ones or God or invisible hand. There is no job cannot be handled. The most important thing when you are jobbed, is make a history with your contributions.

In this story, I attached my "Masterpiece" while working in Samsung R&D Institute Indonesia, this is published for Public, for you who is interested with Tizen Operating System focusing on Wearable Device, and you are eager to build Application, find this book into your guidance. Thank you, Samsung R&D Institute Indonesia for an amazing experience.

Where the position is

What I see contrasts with people normally see, I inferred many words spoken from those thoughtful minds. Reactions are the best composition to prejudge ones' mind.

A half year I set my expectation, I set my life by drawing in a dirty paper with my blue glossy ink. As an artist, I poured my goals in a picture. Everyone who has seen what I draw, they throw many bad words that approximately said "Being realistic is the best option than envisage unpredictable future". This section blew me in mind, I drew a set of pyramid with structured details. Once my expectation is higher in their standard, I still believe there is possibility to reach. I hold tightly my faith. I know I am different. I disregarded many good opportunities, as I have in mind that being the best is always my option. Risk conqueror like me, I felt there is nothing can fulfill my desire. Anxiety comes every night, when owl just thinking what they will do tomorrow. Is not me if I step backward.

I plunge my self in the biggest Gambling Domino Games, this prepared me to have 50:50 chances to win, or somewhere to be lost. In a devoutly moments, I collected flakes. In the midnight, I went to supermarket looking around to bookstore. I slowly walked into corridors somewhere Puzzle is placed. Shelf by shelf I opened one by one from the bottom of the rack, I converted a mind with detail oriented caste. The lower a stack, the easier a level of Puzzle. Having an option to choose the easiest is not intriguing, as a personal with challenges I looked upper from the lowest. My eyes directly rolled into top of the rack. Since I know it gets harder, my hand is too tiny to grab, therefore my head is spinning around. I need extra effort to reach, the pain I allowed inadequate power to reach. I need a help, the lady with red blouse helped me to take it out with portable stairs. I thank to her with witness, I opened a Puzzle that nobody's wanted. Curiosity brought me to rip the plastic bag, I could not wait it more. Puzzle is big picture with hundred pieces of cutting image with less-variance of colors. This should be complex to solve. My brain implied the lost of lust everyone feels like. Difficulties and complexities.

To be I am, extending time to get the best is no excuses. My pyramid is stay still. I am interviewing myself, why I drew a set of hierarchical pyramid. I grabbed opportunities only on top of pyramid, I set my standard at the peak. In the below of the top 1%, it was blurred, this focus destroyed all foundations beneath. My second, third and soon options were exploded only by this priority. I know I was mistaken. I know my final destiny is required supercar, I collected money and energy to buy a proper vehicle. It took a twice or three times longer than anybody else. I enjoyed in it. 


Years passed helped me to straight into my direction, people crossed and gave me a hand have opened a way where I should go for. I faced many times I stand in a distraction. Compass direction could not fulfill to represent number of ways I need to choose. I watched people walk easily and rapid, they turned into their ways, when I was still considering "Should I go for it?". I tended to seize higher and higher, I have gotten and see other higher, I left and follow. And infinite looped. 

Today when I am in, I was hit. I need to eliminate those barriers. By opening a heart to see a reality, I valued constraint by constraint is very important. I should have awakened years ago, that I do it wrong if I constraint myself to enter a tiny hole, while bigger opportunities are opened.

Terima kasih, Sastra

Setiap pagi kubuka mata melihat plafon yang tercetak simetris sempurna, lampu gantung yang tepat diantara perpotongan diagonal yang ada. Jam dinding yang berdiameter 25 cm itu mengagetkanku, ternyata sudut 150 derajat terbentuk pada jarum pendek menunjuk angka 5 dan jarum panjang menunjuk angka 12. Segera kulepaskan diriku dari balok berisi kapuk padat ini, kuinjak beberapa kotak dengan simetris sempurna yang dingin berwarna abu-abu. Lalu ku sibakkan kain yang tertempel pada lubang persegi panjang itu. Bulat berwarna kuning menyapa pagiku, matahari. Aku takut apabila hidupku penuh dengan suatu kepastian, semua tercetak pada porsinya masing masing. Tak ada sedikitpun toleransi bahwa bumi akan berbentuk lonjong. Ataupun tanah bisa di selami oleh ku. Atau aku terbang.

Dengan segala ukuran serta bentuk kaku itu, aku bosan. Aku bosan dengan semua kesempurnaan, kesempurnaan di sekitarku. Kesempurnaan yang telah ada tanpa kuinginkan, kesempurnaan yang terjadi begitu saja. Walaupun aku selalu bersyukur, atas semua ukuran kepastian itu. Tangan kanan dan kiriku sempurna beriringan. Kakiku yang selalu ada pada tempatnya. Mata yang terbentuk simetris dengan hidung serta bibir. Aku juga takut. Apabila semua ini tidak simetris, tidak sempurna. Bagaimana kalau kakiku lebih besar dari badanku? bagaimana kalau hidungku lebih besar daripada kepalaku?

Apabila hati tak dapat merasa, bagaimana musik itu dilantunkan dengan segala dinamika yang ada. Transisi. Aku menemukan transisi yang membuat semua menjadi lebih halus, lebih indah apabila ku rasa. Seperti not Do bertemu dengan not Si, melompati lebih dari 5 tangga, terlalu jauh margin yang kulalui. Margin yang seharusnya bisa kunikmati dengan lembutnya. Mungkin transisi yang terlalu tajam lah menjatuhkanku, membuat hatiku terjatuh. Tak pernah terbayang apabila siang dan malam terjadi hanya dalam waktu 5 detik, aku takut hidupku sudah tak berguna. Sejenak kubuka mata, semua berubah. Dalam sekejap.

Terima kasih, Manusia. Manusia yang melihat semua dengan hati, karena melihat dengan mata sudah tak cukup lagi. Yang telah mengajarkanku bagaimana matahari tidaklah bulat, dan langit tidaklah biru. Bahwa pensil bisa bicara. Siapa bilang matahari panas? Dia hangat. Dia benar benar hangat, ucapkan itu. Hingga ku tak terasa. Neraka akan marah, neraka telah mengasah pisaunya. Terima kasih pisau neraka, yang telah kau asah dengan tajamnya. Kau dekatkan pisau itu di leher kiriku, nadi yang mengalir deras. Kau yang membuatku menjadi nyaman. Bukan pisau manusia yang penuh karat, selalu terabaikan. Membuat semua kepedihan menjadi perlahan. Terima kasih pisau neraka, membuatku nyaman pada permintaan terakhirku. Mereka tak memperdulikanku, mereka masih takut akan kau. Hanya pisaumu, neraka.

Terima kasih, Sastra. Yang memberikan tiupanmu dari musik yang kau ciptakan. Yang membuat telingaku lebih sadar, ternyata aku bisa mendengar suara hati burung, tak hanya bualan manusia. Bahkan denganmu, sastra. Aku bisa terbang tanpa sayap. Aku bisa melihat dalamnya samudra, bahkan bisa kulihat Tuhan. Denganmu sastra, aku bisa menjadi seekor harimau. Aku tau apa yang harimau lain inginkan, mereka inginkan hidup. Terima kasih sastra, atas semua ketidakteraturan yang kau ciptakan. Sungguh tak ada yang sama, tak ada yang munafik.

Distinctive Role

There is a bit fact for settled-foreigner since leaving from hometown for good, by means studying. I am by no means generalized on framing other perspectives, but it works for me on real, I intended to release what I adapted while acting in a very paradoxical composure I lived. I labelled both as my "Professional" and my "Childhood" version. Despite my professional life is not like wearing well-suited black coat with red tie in my necklace, I just worked as student (ever since) or getting work done in a company (without any special formal uniform outfits, or sometime yes) in Metropolitan city. In my childhood version, I am just really nobody who wear wrinkled t-shirt which bought years ago, in a village.

I left hometown when I was 17th years old to follow any common unspoken culture, by the suggestion of the elders, I confident to live alone outside parent's sight. In that grade, people are transforming character by dependence (all the thing provided easily at home, as easy as waking up with all just well-done favorite food available on a table every morning) onto independence (by means not summoning your mom to bring towel while you forget to ring it on your neck before entering bathroom).

I experienced by three parameters of transformation, it changed me that much. In a certain distinct condition, first, I grown by natural growth on sizing up my age, and fortunately after 17 is a time for people do level-elevating maturity. It counted the number you lived since you are born. It happened without being asked, like or dislike your number of age is running out every single day. By this definition, I am getting mature everyday, mostly when it turned more than 17 y.o will get going faster on maturity signed.

Second, I moved habitat. Beforehand, I spent more than my half life on the place while people really polite on treating people, I speak different grade of language to others (It is an obligation on Javanese culture to classify level of language depends on seniority, simply talk to elders by higher level language or talk to equal by average level language), I do bending back passing people I walked-side, and I put smile while meet everyone. Neighbor is family, they said.
Thereafter, I am turned to be egalitarian since I know nobody while living on Metro. I meet hundred times more people than in my hometown. I do not even do what I previously have done, this environment is surprisingly different though it is not that surprise me that big, I feel big different on how looking at people or treating people, I eliminate those -conservative- grade. I see everything equal, not only in one context but wider.

Third, I got a new rule. Since I got labelled as an independent student, I mean college freed me to give all-rounded privilege on managing student personal life, I was not enforced to attend morning classes (that pain me in the ass) as not as I am not always ready to absorb those kind scientist thingy onto my brain -yet, my brain refuses any indicated science subject entered-. I skipped classes whenever I want, as I want as jump onto D or E score on my a half annually report by not well-attacking those exams. If I attend classes, I could not see any interesting programs outside school, of course with all fully funded accommodation and meals, by this end that yes students could not resist to enjoy new circles, fluffy bed and delicious meals. Biggest dilemma ever become college student.

Specifically, those reasons shape me as the one who needs to adapt on environment, though I have been in Metropol for years, I come back to home for a while. I was classified in to two label on following conditions.

First, as professional (I count it since I first pursue higher education) our hourly conversation is close to daily national or international issues by arguing each other on finding problem solving ways. In my environment, luckily I talked to ones who have international minded, we all here listed any popular issues existing. We always overwhelm on conversing fresh-from-the-oven issues. I indicated it as I can be an economic forecaster one day, and it ends to be a fair politician someday, or I become an engineer in a while, and It should become business enthusiast once or even become policy analyst on weekend. I cannot deny, almost everyday I meet simply inspirational people with their own way, I thank to them who have enriched me spectacular point of view on interpreting stuffs. As example, I meet a friend that almost a year did not see, and what I know that he was a 19-ish years old student who leads university or national organization, it was like almost every day I am having conversation to them with various topics. Thanks for slapping me -in implicit way-. I cannot hide from talking-current-issues. In the other hand, my label as Computer Scientist enforced me to plug me onto logical yet fruitful mostly encode-decode conversation. We simply combat to give an explanation why the algorithm is not efficient enough to implement, or we simply calculated numerous number to decide 1 (one) or 0 (zero) or the sequence of both numbers. Hell yeah?

In disparate environment, I need to narrow down my conversation skills.

As childhood version, it is quite contradict label but since I was seemed as still 17 years boy at home, I did not see any reason why I was being treated as 17 years boy. Based on analysis, I linked it to the first I left home when I was 17. Everyone seek me as that way, in order past years I have gone, I looked stay still. I could not see any different way to treat me, I was mentioned as "immature" as my current age. I still have not been involved on any decision, yet my cousin who is equal grade with me has been involved. I conclude it because he was transforming his maturity age (17-22 years old) at home, so my family directly monitored his growth time by time. Then, he was asked any decision making affair. And me, I still could not be permitted to touch any mature businesses by my voice has not been calculated on decision making.
I confess and promises, once I get back home. I will never mention any "professional" matter I received in Metropol, I enjoyed talking about easy-consumed-chit-chat than bring my daily professional conversation, however they will never understand what I say. I adapt to pull down density of words I spread, I keep a hard consumed content, I press velocity on speaking. I analogize it that I am naked. I leave home with nothing, and I come back as I started before, as I know nothing. 

Both role I played, I adapt where I live. I will not appropriate talking analysis on how "Fifth Dimension on Interstellar" film could happen, or arguing on why "British Exit" from European Union while I was at Home. And I will not appropriate to know nothing and no contributed on several current issues while I was at Metropol. I have no idea is other feel the same thing or not.

Kissed from parallel universe!

Kid, it has been years you have not known that you are incomplete. As an older brother, who cannot stay along beside you when you awake alone in every morning. Who failed to feed you when you are hungry. Who does not hear your voice when you are crying. Who is not able to give you a hug when you are scared. And who had never said goodbye when I was going to leave.

Or who cannot spend days to see you around, to keep an eyes on you while you are fixing your toycar, to get laugh together while seeing funny movies.

I bet you, many of them have asked someone who you do not know who is she. They told many good stories about person you haven't heard her name before. Do not listen to them. Just please disregard them, at least until you grown up. You are too fragile to know what have happened. Though, days to come does not promise to get you any stronger. Till you are ready to discover what the reality is.

Ready for having breakfast!

Kid, look at my eyes. Do I look to have an intention to leave you alone?

I know you are frightened when the storm hit, there is no warmth shoulder to lean your fear on. I know you are distracted when you wake up, but none beside you. And I only am be able do nothing from here, distance divided us. It was like I am having affairs with parallel universe when I recall you, and ended worrying you extremely. But kid, I see your confusion. I come and go without alert. When I suddenly come home, you were just staring at me and flustered. You took a while to be conscious, I read your thought saying like "Is he really coming? Is he?" then you just got excited when you realize that it was me, you are not dreaming, kid! It was me! And you finally messed my face up. You touch my nose and my hair, making sure that you meet person you want to see so badly then you kissed me a lot. I recognize your facial showed me how you mad and happy at me in the same time, then you put smile on your face with excitement.

Beside you, I drove where you find remote control car you like a lot. I was involved to choose a pair of apparels which suit on you. I bought you Donuts you like the most. I paid what I owed on you. 

 Kondangan dressed!

I am sure you are asking me these confusions,

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Why the fuck don't you get home for long time?"

"Who the hell are you really?"

"Why did you do this to me, bitch?"

"Why didn't you ask me for permission when you leave, bitch?"

And I have no idea to answer.

I am sorry for making you get confused. You have never known what adults faced in life, when people are considering too much to choose which one is better. Because option on getting adults was not as simple as choosing the red or blue toycars. I am sorry for never talking to you in a phone, it will just waste my tears to hear your voice. I was just always not ready to say "Hello" as hard as saying "Goodbye" to you. I could not handle if you were screaming at me when I have to go. It will be even worse for me to see your face on farewell, I can't. Then I always decide to disappear from you, and what I know is nothing, whether you are crying out to find me or not. At least I don't feel guilty on you. It is better, I think.

In this your 3rd birthday, I am sorry for not home. For not bringing you cake, for not teaching you how to slice a cake in a good way. I realized that I am not a good brother. And this is your second time that no Mama beside you when you blow birthday candle. And you unluckily only have once an opportunity to celebrate your birthday with Mama, no any longer.

I always wish the best for you, and keep getting stronger, kid! Stay active and talkactive! In the near future when you are bigger, I hope you to read this and make you sure that I never leave you.

HAPPY 3rd Birthday Aron! Kissed from parallel universe!

Where the soul of ambisious is getting started?

Di usia ini, bahkan aku baru menyadari ada sebuah stepping stone besar yang akhirnya mengubah hidup menjadi so much wonderful and full of colors. Sesuatu kejadian yang tidak pernah terlupakan itu, hanyalah sebuah perkara kecil yang dilakukan banyak anak kecil di saat duduk dibangku kelas tiga Sekolah Dasar. 

Bermula dari kantor Bapak yang mengadakan lomba 17 Agustusan, di sebuah hall yang sangat besar bernama Puri Makutoromo, kota Salatiga. Kantor bapakku berkumpul untuk mengadakan acara dalam skala regional yaitu Jateng dan DIY. Tidak tahu pastinya berapa, namun kira-kira sekitar 700 orang menghadiri acara besar tersebut, ditambah dengan lomba-lomba yang biasa ada di lomba tujuh belas agustusan. 

Sebagai gambaran, Taufik Fitriyanto kelas 3 SD adalah seorang yang totally nerd, kecil, dan agak songong. Sampai sekarang pun tidak berubah sifatnya, menyebalkan. Itulah kenapa I am kind of a bulliable-enough kid. Bullied is my daily meal. Biasa saja, tidak pernah sakit hati atau mungkin minder atau takut. Malah makin songong. Dia adalah anak kecil yang tidak seperti anak kecil lainnya, malah sangat berbeda. Keberadaannya di dunia sosial seolah tak pernah dianggap, atau lebih mudahnya gagal di kehidupan sosial. Dia memiliki dunia nya sendiri, menghabiskan waktu belasan jam untuk memikirkan sesuatu hal yang tidak penting untuk anak seusia nya. Bahkan, kelas satu SD pun sudah sangat visioner yaitu sudah memikirkan 20 tahun mendatang akan menikah dengan seseorang yang tidak perlu disebut namanya, serta sudah merencakan memiliki anak kembar yang entah kenapa bernama Sandy dan Randy. Dan dua nama tersebut malah sekarang adalah orang yang berada di closest circle in my life.

Look alike, bedanya ga pake kacamata.

Anyway aku punya foto dengan pose yang sama dan penampilan yang kurang lebih sama dan potongan rambut yang sama, di depan lemari pas mau berangkat les. Dan itu foto kelas 3 SD juga, so I need to find it again. Nanti dirumah mau ngubek-ngubek album foto, ah!

Beberapa opsi yang ada finally pilihanku jatuh ke lomba balap kelereng yang diletakkan diatas sendok sambil digigit. Sebagai anak SD, tidak ada yang spesial untuk mengikuti lomba tujuh belasan, apalagi hanya lomba kelereng. Sama sekali tidak spesial, dude! Persiapan seminggu, iya seminggu aku mempersiapkan berbagai macam strategi untuk memenangkan lomba balap kelereng. Cukup random kalau dipikir-pikir, kenapa cuman lomba balap kelereng aku mempersiapkannya dengan matang?

Sebelumnya tak pernah terpikir untuk ikut lomba, seolah gak penting. Bahkan apa sih fungsinya lomba itu? Balap kelereng, pula? Tapi entah kenapa aku mempersiapkan beberapa strategi memang aku rancang dan aku lakukan sendiri tanpa bantuan siapapun. 

Dude, for the sake of God, why the hell is this kid was going to do unimportant thing?

Pertama, mencari berbagai macam sendok makan yang berbeda ukuran dan berbeda bahan. Ada sendok plastik, stainless steel atau bahkan sendok bebek. Kedua, mencari lokasi yang berbeda konturnya misalnya jalanan berbatu, jalanan aspal, jalanan rata dan jalanan yang masih tanah asli. Ketiga, mencari hambatan. Misalnya kursi yang ditata agar kita berjalan zigzag. Keempat, sebagai preemptive action aku juga berlatih menggunakan kelereng dengan berbagai macam ukuran.

Kebayang kan gimana ribetnya, bahkan untuk hal yang sepele, mungkin sangat tidak berarti bagi orang lain. Pastinya ada alasan kenapa aku mempersiapkan semua hal itu, karena aku belum pernah ikut lomba dan belum tahu medan perang nya seperti apa. Medan perangnya terdiri dari beberapa aspek utama yaitu sendok, kelereng, lokasi, dan hambatan. Untuk meningkatkan probability kemenangan, itulah kenapa aku mempersiapkan itu semua. Selain mempersiapkan itu semua pastinya latihan rutin adalah suatu keharusan.

Akhirnya pada hari H semua persiapan dan latihan sudah selesai. Peserta lomba kurang lebih 100 anak dari berbagai penjuru Jateng dan DIY. Aku sengaja keluar dari gedung melihat venue dimana pertempuran dilakukan. Lapangan yang luas itu memang agak sulit untuk dicari, namun sebuah meja bertuliskan "Lomba Balap Kelereng" mencerahkan pemikiranku. Ternyata venue nya tidak sesulit yang telah aku persipakan, hanya di sebuah lapangan yang lantainya sudah aspal dan tidak ada rintangan. Disitu aku merasa mungkin ini menjadi sebuah gambling, dimana setiap orang pasti bisa melewatinya. 

Jadi proses perlombaan ini adalah sistem gugur, dimana lombanya dilakukan setiap 5 orang. Dua terbaik setiap pertandingan akan maju ke babak selanjutnya, hingga akhirnya aku selalu menempati posisi pertama. Setelah beberapa kali pertandingan dibawah panas matahari, akhirnya melenggang ke final. Sampai, aku menjadi juara. 

Itu adalah trophy pertama yang aku dapatkan. Pertama kali memegang piala seolah-olah memenangkan lomba debat bahasa inggris sedunia. Waktu itu tidak bisa diungkapkan dengan kata-kata, bahkan saat dipanggil ke depan untuk penyerahan trophy dan hadiah pun dengan percaya dirinya berjalan dengan melihat ratusan orang di depanku dan bertepuk tangan. Menjadi artis sehari, tak apalah. Selain itu juga semua mata seolah-olah tertuju padaku. Karena biasanya, bahkan dilihat pun tidak.

Aku hanya tahu bahwa menang lomba adalah hal baik. Dan menyenangkan, karena banyak dapat hadiah, dan perhatian. 

Being in the center of attention in a good thing, is a good thing right?

Semenjak itu, karena banyaknya manfaat aku menjadi sering mengikuti lomba-lomba selanjutnya yang ada di desaku atau desa sebelah. Setiap tahun selalu menang, bahkan lebih parahnya lagi misal dari 7 lomba, 5 diantaranya aku juara satu. Ambisius sekali kawan. Hingga akhirnya, sampai sekarang mengkoleksi piala. Dan piala itu berasal dari berbagai macam lomba, so it was so colorful! Gak monoton lomba itu-itu aja. Meskipun piala beberapa piala hilang atau ada beberapa yang patah atau beberapa yang rusak atau beberapa juga tidak ada pialanya, tapi value nya hingga sekarang masih ada.

Yang tidak berubah dari Taufik Fitriyanto yang dulu hingga sekarang adalah well-prepared. Semenjak kuliah, tidak terlalu banyak mengikuti lomba meskipun lebih dari sepuluh sih. Karena banyaknya tugas kuliah sehingga memang tidak sempat atau tidak menemukan team yang cocok untuk lomba, biasanya lomba yang personal. Kedewasaan cukup mempengaruhi, aku memfilter beberapa perlombaan yang akan diikuti karena pastinya melelahkan. Still ambitious, but leveling up the elegance. Toh perlombaan kecil-kecilan tidak akan bernilai apa-apa di CV, cukup mencantumkan beberapa yang terbaik dan terkenal saja. Daripada membuang banyak waktu, I decide just mengikuti lomba yang skala cukup besar.

Keunikan dari lomba-lomba yang ditawarkan di perkuliahan adalah perbedaan karakter setiap lomba. Perbedaan culture dari setiap perusahaan yang mengadakan lomba mempengaruhi parameter lomba yang ada. Aku selalu melakukan deep research pada setiap lomba yang aku ikuti, dari karakter perusahaan hingga pattern dari pemenang beberapa tahun sebelumnya. Deep research membutuhkan waktu yang tidak sedikit, sekitar seminggu atau kadang lebih. Ditambah membuat persyaratan yang dilakukan untuk lomba, karena ke-perfeksionisan yang ada, alhasil membutuhkan waktu yang lama juga. Karena aku tidak mau asal-asalan ikut lomba, atau ikut lomba yang asal-asalan. So, I always do my best!

Benang merah telah ditemukan, dari sebuah lomba balap kelereng, hingga banyak lomba-lomba yang mengubah pandangan hidup, persahabatan, atau standard kehidupan. Mungkin dulu kalau tidak pernah mengikuti lomba balap kelereng, tidak akan mendapatkan pengalaman yang luar biasa seperti sekarang ini. All I can do just saying Alhamdulilah. 

This post is built by curiousity where my ambitious has just begun. I have been thinking heavily to figure it out where is everything just started.