In the last sequence years, I put myself on "push to limit container".

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I sometimes get hard to know why I failed to direct my self into schedule which previously I rendered in the evening before I get to bed. My ambition is loss. I am a morning person, but my productivity is decreasing. By the day I could actually do many self improvements, or at least pursuing target. Oh God, please my dream was so high. Doing nothing by scrolling up and down gadget, seeing another succeed. Even I frustrated with questions "Why the hell my hand is coming up by yielding nothing in hand". I somehow, daydreaming yes of course that in near future I lead Company. Everyone's dream right, yet I stuck in progressing to make my self better. Or at least following my bad schedule that I always break my promises to go. Will I?

I need to discover again, where my ambition is, where my curiosity is. I could not handle my self to at least lead my hand, brain, mouth, and pace. I slow it down my pace, looking my self as a pathetic yet lame person who was flood in a dirty river, and flowed. Swimming against the stream, and keep flowed. Walking in a same position, all I need is support and positivity. I waited positivity fulfill my spirit to come up into surface of my soul.

Talking about Leadership competence, somehow I could not interpret it on one fit figure or ideal persona. But I have met many leaders that bring positivity to uphold and bring up a confidence to every soul. Its positivity boosts to everyone's limit on their job. I do not blame to ones, but this is noted to my self which persona I should follow or at least I adopt, If someday I was chosen the one who impact other's self advancement. I do not know why, positivity does really matter to productivity.

Many of people who give birth leadership, they are calming down the temper his surround. Since, I do really learn about that characteristic who is I really enjoy with, who is I can really lean back at, or at least who is I can follow its little behavior. This is shame to admit, that back then when I was in school I impersonate all actions of my "Top Student" in my class. I was following how they act when doing homework, I imitate their handwriting style (since I have a talent to imitate their font style, this is an authentic talent that brings my self to label it as "recognized as talented" since I have no talent in others stuff).

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For the next 5 years, when I read back this messy yet diary style of writings, I hope I adopt these my persona goals:
1. Equalize voice tone.
I do not why this is very strange component on leadership capacity, I paid attention to ones who bring conversation on his voice tone. People around, who has an exploded emotions suddenly shut their voice down and follow this tone. I rarely have seen this talent or born-gifted capacity to make every one less their temper and follow all instruction from his mouth. All people who hear his words will be calmed and feel restful.

2. Positivity
It reflected on its daily behavior by sending a smile and nothing fear in future. This capability will directly level up confidence level of his surrounds, by sending a fact table of optimism, and art of showing a good ambiance, this is I have fallen in love with person's character. Scared is faded out, the road is clear to make forward to undergo straight road without clue-less obstacle. Providing a reasonable fact to not give up in the middle of journey, making sure a good point and setting positive mindset that everything is achievable with a good measure tools.

3. Calming down.
As I have explored an interacted with leaders, I found a confident to not worry. I sometimes prejudged people on how they reflected into trouble, big or little one. The expression tells his maturity, wisdom, patient and strength. I believe a little bad mood affect others badness. I committed to learn more about this things, a set of problem has a set of its solution. With a good composure, affecting others to think extraordinary to pick up a solution. If leader has this capability, I am as follower will be really enjoy and not afraid because My Bos does not fear at all, then I have no reason to fall into fearful situation.

I comprehend my self as not good self scheduler, but hope those persona goals that I should advance in order to make my self and other can stay with me with a good impression.