Noted to My Self about Leadership Competence

In the last sequence years, I put myself on "push to limit container".

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I sometimes get hard to know why I failed to direct my self into schedule which previously I rendered in the evening before I get to bed. My ambition is loss. I am a morning person, but my productivity is decreasing. By the day I could actually do many self improvements, or at least pursuing target. Oh God, please my dream was so high. Doing nothing by scrolling up and down gadget, seeing another succeed. Even I frustrated with questions "Why the hell my hand is coming up by yielding nothing in hand". I somehow, daydreaming yes of course that in near future I lead Company. Everyone's dream right, yet I stuck in progressing to make my self better. Or at least following my bad schedule that I always break my promises to go. Will I?

I need to discover again, where my ambition is, where my curiosity is. I could not handle my self to at least lead my hand, brain, mouth, and pace. I slow it down my pace, looking my self as a pathetic yet lame person who was flood in a dirty river, and flowed. Swimming against the stream, and keep flowed. Walking in a same position, all I need is support and positivity. I waited positivity fulfill my spirit to come up into surface of my soul.

Talking about Leadership competence, somehow I could not interpret it on one fit figure or ideal persona. But I have met many leaders that bring positivity to uphold and bring up a confidence to every soul. Its positivity boosts to everyone's limit on their job. I do not blame to ones, but this is noted to my self which persona I should follow or at least I adopt, If someday I was chosen the one who impact other's self advancement. I do not know why, positivity does really matter to productivity.

Many of people who give birth leadership, they are calming down the temper his surround. Since, I do really learn about that characteristic who is I really enjoy with, who is I can really lean back at, or at least who is I can follow its little behavior. This is shame to admit, that back then when I was in school I impersonate all actions of my "Top Student" in my class. I was following how they act when doing homework, I imitate their handwriting style (since I have a talent to imitate their font style, this is an authentic talent that brings my self to label it as "recognized as talented" since I have no talent in others stuff).


Credit: Rawpixel/Shutterstock
 credit: Rawpixel/Shutterstock

For the next 5 years, when I read back this messy yet diary style of writings, I hope I adopt these my persona goals:
1. Equalize voice tone.
I do not why this is very strange component on leadership capacity, I paid attention to ones who bring conversation on his voice tone. People around, who has an exploded emotions suddenly shut their voice down and follow this tone. I rarely have seen this talent or born-gifted capacity to make every one less their temper and follow all instruction from his mouth. All people who hear his words will be calmed and feel restful.

2. Positivity
It reflected on its daily behavior by sending a smile and nothing fear in future. This capability will directly level up confidence level of his surrounds, by sending a fact table of optimism, and art of showing a good ambiance, this is I have fallen in love with person's character. Scared is faded out, the road is clear to make forward to undergo straight road without clue-less obstacle. Providing a reasonable fact to not give up in the middle of journey, making sure a good point and setting positive mindset that everything is achievable with a good measure tools.

3. Calming down.
As I have explored an interacted with leaders, I found a confident to not worry. I sometimes prejudged people on how they reflected into trouble, big or little one. The expression tells his maturity, wisdom, patient and strength. I believe a little bad mood affect others badness. I committed to learn more about this things, a set of problem has a set of its solution. With a good composure, affecting others to think extraordinary to pick up a solution. If leader has this capability, I am as follower will be really enjoy and not afraid because My Bos does not fear at all, then I have no reason to fall into fearful situation.

I comprehend my self as not good self scheduler, but hope those persona goals that I should advance in order to make my self and other can stay with me with a good impression.

Working is not only About Following Passion

In the first day I work for Samsung Research and Development Institute Indonesia, I frightened. I come to office 1 hour earlier based on appointment. My heart starts heavy beating, I walked around hundreds people crossing Sudirman Street.

What I have in mind is something clumsy, "is this real that I would become Software Engineer?".

Weeks ago I signed contract as "Global Software Engineer", as I have passed in the first term of Algorithm Test by Samsung R&D with HQ Standard. I am lucky enough to pass this one, since everyone needs to conduct Algorithm test more than one, then mostly they are rejected, and some people are accepted. "Global Software Engineer" is a program for universal engineer, lot of programming languages will be taught in this program. For "Real Passionate Engineer", this is the best place to leverage universal programming skills. You will be provided an eminent and costly course with cost covered by Samsung. We were also freed to access Leadership course by Harvard, for instance. Capacity to lead and technical will run into a straight path.

I am majoring in Information Systems, mixed between Computer Science and Management. Becoming Software Engineer is common options for us, but for me personally, I have another outstanding potential talent on another side, so in the first time I decided to choose Non Computer Science Job. I concerned a lot with first job I take, it would be my long life career in the future. I limit myself about Computer Science, I assumed that Software Engineer has narrow career development. I am afraid of my future actually. I hate doing same thing everyday by coding many programming languages, I hate to talk to my computer. As I have spent more than 10 hours to surf and networked on internet connection.

Before I joined, I was given a set of Algorithm Books by Mr Risman (Director of Software R&D), I flipped page by page till I got a nausea effect. I counted it more than 3.000 pages. I am shocked, if it were a set of Motivational Novel or Science Fiction film, I would be really enjoyed on it. Or at least a set of book titled "How to build small creative business for a long term plan for newbies?".

But, big name of Samsung guides me to swallow Algorithm Books, it might be my every day meal in the next couple years.

In the midnight, I sit in the front of balcony, I was starting mini discussion with my own self. Asking frequently same questions, in my humble opinion, I have another passion than dealing with code every day.

D-Day is coming. I entered Samsung R&D Office, I was introduced by HR Officer to anyone. I was a bit nervous to start my life for next couple year of career. We are 5 fresh graduate, are involved a mini discussion by our Laboratory Leader. We were all asked about our passion, I answered to have a passion in Backend (Java, C++ and SQL) and Frontend (CSS3). And I mentioned that I like to speak, to read and to present in front of public. First, I was incorporated on Java project. I am so happy and nervous at the same time.

In the next couple hours, I was offered as Technical Evangelist. Actually, I do not familiar with this position, they said that it would be matched for Engineer who love to write and speak. I took this opportunity. In prior moment, I daydreamed that my job is going to close with Technical Writer.

Surprisingly, I got a beyond expectation position that actually very matched with my personalities. I engaged students, developers from around Indonesia cities. Planning Hackaton and performing technical skill on stage, meeting new people, having a good relations with C-Level, and conducting video conference call meeting every Friday. Making sure that program from Headquarter is delivered in a best time, moment, and going well. Writing books and articles, posted it into technological platform.

Assumption is Killing
There are many opportunities outside there, I realized companies offered employee a good and fit position, the reason is Enormous company (such as Samsung) will place one to the fittest position, to get optimum performance. They will plot you to boost company's revenue, even a little thing is an asset. Lesson learned to ring bad assumption is settling you down.

Do not Limit Yourself
When you are offered any "other and never heard position", it is your time to challenge your self. I read books with another reverse stand point, by raising view from "Do not follow your passion" rules. It guides you to be more master on other field you never touch. Fear of getting failed will get higher, the point you will prepare tighter is acceptable reason to have you stronger and more hardworking. Passion placed you into a place you (sometimes) get destructed, but believe me, you will do anything to confront those challenges. The beat you will sense, headache you have never felt, shaking body you never imagine, push you to think outside your brain.

Enjoy Everything What you Retrieve
Miracle comes from everything. If you have pushed you hard, universe supports you immediately. No worry of having difficult to face tomorrow's job problem. You are guided. By ones or God or invisible hand. There is no job cannot be handled. The most important thing when you are jobbed, is make a history with your contributions.

In this story, I attached my "Masterpiece" while working in Samsung R&D Institute Indonesia, this is published for Public, for you who is interested with Tizen Operating System focusing on Wearable Device, and you are eager to build Application, find this book into your guidance. Thank you, Samsung R&D Institute Indonesia for an amazing experience.