Where the position is


What I see contrasts with people normally see, I inferred many words spoken from those thoughtful minds. Reactions are the best composition to prejudge ones' mind.

A half year I set my expectation, I set my life by drawing in a dirty paper with my blue glossy ink. As an artist, I poured my goals in a picture. Everyone who has seen what I draw, they throw many bad words that approximately said "Being realistic is the best option than envisage unpredictable future". This section blew me in mind, I drew a set of pyramid with structured details. Once my expectation is higher in their standard, I still believe there is possibility to reach. I hold tightly my faith. I know I am different. I disregarded many good opportunities, as I have in mind that being the best is always my option. Risk conqueror like me, I felt there is nothing can fulfill my desire. Anxiety comes every night, when owl just thinking what they will do tomorrow. Is not me if I step backward.

I plunge my self in the biggest Gambling Domino Games, this prepared me to have 50:50 chances to win, or somewhere to be lost. In a devoutly moments, I collected flakes. In the midnight, I went to supermarket looking around to bookstore. I slowly walked into corridors somewhere Puzzle is placed. Shelf by shelf I opened one by one from the bottom of the rack, I converted a mind with detail oriented caste. The lower a stack, the easier a level of Puzzle. Having an option to choose the easiest is not intriguing, as a personal with challenges I looked upper from the lowest. My eyes directly rolled into top of the rack. Since I know it gets harder, my hand is too tiny to grab, therefore my head is spinning around. I need extra effort to reach, the pain I allowed inadequate power to reach. I need a help, the lady with red blouse helped me to take it out with portable stairs. I thank to her with witness, I opened a Puzzle that nobody's wanted. Curiosity brought me to rip the plastic bag, I could not wait it more. Puzzle is big picture with hundred pieces of cutting image with less-variance of colors. This should be complex to solve. My brain implied the lost of lust everyone feels like. Difficulties and complexities.

To be I am, extending time to get the best is no excuses. My pyramid is stay still. I am interviewing myself, why I drew a set of hierarchical pyramid. I grabbed opportunities only on top of pyramid, I set my standard at the peak. In the below of the top 1%, it was blurred, this focus destroyed all foundations beneath. My second, third and soon options were exploded only by this priority. I know I was mistaken. I know my final destiny is required supercar, I collected money and energy to buy a proper vehicle. It took a twice or three times longer than anybody else. I enjoyed in it. 


Years passed helped me to straight into my direction, people crossed and gave me a hand have opened a way where I should go for. I faced many times I stand in a distraction. Compass direction could not fulfill to represent number of ways I need to choose. I watched people walk easily and rapid, they turned into their ways, when I was still considering "Should I go for it?". I tended to seize higher and higher, I have gotten and see other higher, I left and follow. And infinite looped. 

Today when I am in, I was hit. I need to eliminate those barriers. By opening a heart to see a reality, I valued constraint by constraint is very important. I should have awakened years ago, that I do it wrong if I constraint myself to enter a tiny hole, while bigger opportunities are opened.

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