Now, I have a reason staying in a funeral20.08
Since that tragedy, I started to vacant schedule for visiting her. I redeemed my guilty, for sure. Since really, I haven’t seen her in the last time, I was getting away for a while.
Walked in between of gravestone, I thought. I captured distinct conditions every step I walk. I saw classes. In the middle of out-of-control thought, I classified it clearly. I looked in the next right three steps from where I stand, I have seen blue glamorous gravestone design. Stood by strong architecture. Pinky flowers around. Closes by are clean. And little bit sparkling. No wild grasses around. Written by golden ink epitaph. I assumed it as a wealthy woman who has been being loved by her family, and around 30. In the left side, I found 2 tiny stones in a parallel ordered standing face to face with decorated with natural wild grasses. Not dirty, I mean it needed to be cleaned for years. Unorganized well. I couldn’t spot its name clearly. Grasses height was mostly surpassing them.
From those realities, I seized value. Not about caste, but more. It represents in a way how high the grade of true love.
Talking about commitment in caring something whether they are exists or not. Does it hard? I illustrated it as knowing what kind consequences of “caring to a little cocoon will be a flying butterfly someday, or consequences of talking to the mannequin which never give a feedback”. Allocate time to visit a stone in a place where the latest man will be stayed at. In a silent yet devoutly clear of people’s presence, I have come. I expected nothing, nor feedback. With sincere, I stayed. I need to make sure that her gravestone is always clean. I wholeheartedly was getting hurt looking around, looking at the stones were not keep maintained. I presented to bring the public that “She” was being loved that much by us.
Being brave to commit for getting hurt, every come will never be back, again. I scheduled, not only for now but forever. Commitment for memory. I come to memorize it. I grabbed it. Since two different feels were running, “I come to reminisce it or I come to forget it”. I confused. Since paradoxal substances come frequently. I still have not established, which way I should go for.
When I was a little boy, I got no feels of going to funeral. I come to people did not meet before, no no, I come to a stone, and I have to go, they said. I did my complimentary activities, with no feeling. Still hard finding a reason, “Why should I have come to here?” was a repeating question. I have no tendency.
Now, I have known. Visiting to funeral for a while means anything. I presented a loyalty and commitment. I intended to make everyone sees, that “She” was being loved by us, really.