A -Life- Love changing experience


Since the day I arrived in Europe, I felt like nothing different at first. I don't know why there is no special impressions when I was trying to get my self in a tragically out of my daily-boredom-routine in Indonesia. Everyone is supposed to amaze sophisticated technology in a leading country like Germany. They did. But, I didn't. I read a lot, read the happiness of someone's experiences when traveled Europe. They adored all there about. They were just like fallen in love at the first sight experiences sightseeing there, Europe. Too early for me to be fallen in love. Is there any wrong with me?

I have just thought that yes I am a slightly-hard-to-fall-in-love boy will never fall at once. 


How can i feel so being a lonely boy when actually I was living with my Opa and my lovely uncle. I was really well served there, I admitted that warmest hospitality has been spread by them out. I am sure that they did their best to welcome a young boy that came alone from his origin country that spent 17-ish hours crossing continent. All the firsts happened there.

First went to abroad

First traveled intercontinental

First self-forced ate anything that never been before

All about my home-conservative-food allergies are managed well. I was fed as an Indonesian commonly. Daily cuisines were made as Indonesian touch. I was glad to be there, to be I am. All worries left significantly. I was feeling so blessed not to frighten my later living-alone-phobia in another country in Europe. But, I did everything by my self everytime.

I won't to be a bird in a bird cage.

Too much.

Too much given special treatment that it supposed to be my time to level up independency. It was hardly recognized my regular activities that finally became disable. All my habitually getting own food was broken to be lying on bed with a book opened in my hand.

A week left.

I stand by my legs up. I met some strange people. I encountered my enemy, I came over to my enemy consciously.

I faced a less than 20 degrees weather.
I faced to eat strange-to-my-tongue foods.
I faced to communicate strange people.
I faced to manage my introvert.
I faced to manage to start conversation with the ones I never knew.
I faced to survive my social life.
I faced on and on.

It seems like a different person came inside to me. I enjoyed. I was like born at twice. I was like a bird trying to open a pair of his wings.

I succeed. I have never believed that the other side of me was helping me to level down my selfishness for grabbing so many beautiful experiences. I found a new friends-that-accepted me who know nothing about my backgrounds, about my passes. I found a new warmth hand. I found everything newly. I found a new other side of my self. My cheerful. I was being a more talk-active person. I hope it can be continued existing in me.

How my previous track records were never be easily believing that a little thing is able to change something drastically. Need long processes, I thought. I have never believed in instant.

Without know it first, I was conscious. I changed. I got everything better.

Were I fallen in love?

This city welcomed, my surrounds opened, supervisors hugged, the lamps held.
I was really I am. As simple I am. I neglected prestige, they accepted it. I showed my unacceptable-behavior-for-them, they received with hand opened. I denied my shy showing up. My level of confidence goes up to the top. 

"I deserved these!", my heart screamed. I sacrificed what people said happiness. Not a little, but that much.

We were holding hand together, going out to nowhere we didn't know. We tried taboo things for each of us. We were hugging one another. What we know just finding happiness together with know nothing where the direct to go. Not chaos, just an ordered random.

Or this was only no compared?

First time, best time, the only one I traveled alone, farthest and diverged. Haven't. I didn't travel like that before. Those things reminded me to feel going back to my first love experience while in Junior High School. It was felt like nervous, sorrow, glad and confuse at a moment. Complicated. And again, I experienced a heart broken for now. I need to let those expressions goes by. Never too early or too late for me. Exact. Flawless.

I was aware when the day I left. So hard to go, but must leave. Hard to release, but it has to be separated. Hard to say good bye to everything I really love.

Wait, really love?

Were I eventually fallen in love?

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